Wednesday, June 3, 2009

The Beyond...

So high school was finished for me, and I now had to make it in the "real" world. Funny how we say that, "REAL" world. We forget that we also had 18 years in the real world prior to this. I guess it is all in how you mean it?

My first job after school was, server at Kettle. I worked overnights, and had very little knowledge about it. Eventually, I went on to work at HEB with my mother. My time at HEB brought on a whole new world. It was short time lived, but I worked there. You see that was where I met my sons father, Cory. On March 15, 1999, my son Collin was born, I was 19. While I was pregnant with my son, I went to work at Reading China and Things. Worked there till my son was born, then left. Not long after that I went to work for HEB again as a Cake Decorator. I believe I took my mother's spot, as she was a cake decorator also. HEB was short lived again, and so I moved on with the rest of my life.

Unfortunately, I have had many jobs, probably too many to count on six hands. I have also been one who has searched for my place in the world. I have gone in and out of friendships, few have stuck around for me. Kimberly has been the only one who has put up with me throughout the years.

Well the years pass by, then one day I learned I was pregnant again. I was going to school at that time to be a chef. What a joke!! A chef!! (The indepth veiw of this will be added later, when I talk of my children) On March 11, 2004, Gage Pearson Howard was brought into this world as healthy as God allowed him to be. I gave him up for adoption. The hardest thing I could ever do, but I did it, again, I will never look back and wonder.

Moved on from that experience, and finally found, what many people say, was "my calling," Massage Therapy. So I finally got it together and went to school, again. School lasted about 3-4 months, and then I graduated. Two months after that, guess what? I was preganant AGAIN!!!! I guess maybe I was to be a baby machine also, I don't know? On February 22, 2007, Crista Renee Woodard was born. A healthy baby girl, who has since been a joy in my life.

This is my life in a nut shell. A few points will be addressed over time, that I feel should be something of great importance.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Texas...what a rush!!

My grandparents brought me to Texas, dropped me off in Canyon Lake, where my mother worked. Not long after I moved here my mother gave me a job, prep cook. I learned alot, you know how to keep a job.

Then summer was over and I had to start a new school. I was terrified!! Let me break it down...graduating class size in Tonkawa: 50-60...Smithson Valley: 300-400. What a reality check!! And so I started my 10th grade year. The majority of my "friends" were the new kids. I started to make "friends" with the others over time.

Summertime came and I was 16, time to get another job. Schlitterbahn!!! This job opened up a whole new world to me. You see, I was a VERY SHY girl, and when I say VERY SHY I mean VERY!! But I wanted to change, and change is what I did. This job was one I the best things that could happen to me. I also met my best friend, Kimberly there. (She will be a whole new section also) Met the boy I would have my first kiss with, was I nervous or what?

Summer was over, and so I was back to school. I was in the 11th grade...but not for long. It wasn't long into my year of school and my mother and stepfather, at the time, had to go to California to take care of his dying uncle. My mother left me in the care of a horrible person, who, of course, I cannot remember his name for the life of me. The most I remember of him (good), was that he liked to draw surf boards. I think he believed he was a surfer before he moved to Texas. I don't know. Well anyways, I then went on to get my GED. Mistake and no mistake. I don't regret what or why I got my GED, but it still would have been nice to have a diploma. I was 17, when high school was over for me. I haven't looked back since.

And then some...

I lived in Tonkawa for 10 years...

When I lived in Tonkawa, I had a pretty good life. We moved alot, three times I believe. I look back and think of my life there and so many emotions rush over me.

I had gone through two stepmothers while I lived there, Sandy 1 and Sandy 2, we called them. I remember the first Sandy fairly well...mostly I remeber the vacations we were able to take. The most memorable one was Disney World in Florida. I will never forget my first roller coaster. I went on it with my father, no one else wanted to go. Honestly, I don't think I realized it was a roller coaster until many years later!! The second Sandy deserves a post all on her own, which will come later.

It wasn't easy going to school there. I felt as an outcast many times, well, most of the time. I remember getting in trouble alot when I was in the first grade, maybe it was rebellion for losing my mother in the divorce. I was six, what did I know about the reasons for the falling apart of the relationship. So, from that time on, it was up and down. Funny!! Didn't realize the life roller coaster! I went through life, and found I wasn't good at sports, but my dad always thought I could be. I know my grandfather ALWAYS made it to my games. I thank him for that. Sorry, back to the school thing. I had my crushes, Kevin Randall will always be the long standing one. I will never forget Jeremy Weidman...never could talk as easily to a boy since. Many long conversations, under a table in my grandparents home. I hope to one day see, talk, hear his voice again. I always thought I had girl friends, now that I am older I know I didn't.

So one day, the last day of school, while I live in Tonkawa, my father told me that I was moving to Texas, I was 15.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

First Draft - The Beginning

Well here I go, off to start I new way for me to tell the world of who I am.

On April 1, 1979, I was born in Tulsa, Oklahoma, to Tom and Tanya Smith. All 8lbs. of me surrendered itself to this crazy world, to pick and choose the best life that I can live. I lived in Tulsa till I was five, then after my parents divorced, I moved to Tonkawa, Oklahoma, to live with my father, brother and sister. My amazing grandparents, Max and Loretta Smith live there, which allowed me to develop a closer relationship to them.